the grassman research project
grassman is real and a being of ancient power
after decades of study, grassman researchers agree that grassman is a member of an interdimensional alien race from a plane of existence known as ohio. grassman arrived to norvrandt in a buckeye-shaped UFO and helped build the ronkan empire thousands of years ago.grassman cannot be killed by terrestrial means. when bested in combat grassman will teleport to his home dimension in ohio to recover before resurfacing again after roughly 4-6 hours to resume his sacred duty of protecting the rak'tika greatwood.grassman can control the weather and communicate telepathically only to people of the most pure of heart, like a hairy bipedal unicorn. however, he can still read your mind regardless of the purity of your heart or lack thereof and he will judge you for it.grassman is the star of many a bodice-ripper in the really weird section of the crystarium library. he's kind of uncomfortable knowing this so please don't think about it in his presence.grassman's favorite food is cincinnati chili.
do not engage grassman alone!
grassman's alien powers are strong. you are going to need at least 40 people to vanquish him back to ohio.remember that grassman's defeat is TEMPORARY. he WILL come back. he WILL want revenge.grassman's most hated enemy is the loveland frog, an ancient and intense rivalry that can be traced back to his home planet of ohio. do NOT show frogs to grassman whatever you do!i'm serious, if you wear the frog costume around him he is going to teleport on top of you and instantly kill you in a blind rage. don't do it!do NOT call grassman's home planet 'michigan' unless you want him to get extremely upset and fling feces at you.
emet-selch is post malone
just in case you forgot. it's important informationi will not be explaining myself further. ask grassman about it
okay that's cool and all but can you tell us a little about the asshole running the twitter account
no 💖